Alcoholic Ho Fosho....

SO........ The end of this week has become quite eventful!!! I'm really not liking the way things happen anymore, but I suppose small town drama will do that shit to you.

Lets start with Wednesday shall we??? Almost every Wednesday a few of my coworkers and myself all go to the restaurant downstairs and have "Wing and Wine Wednesday" (which is usually baked potato and beer Wednesday for me but that doesn't have a nice ring to it). Afterwards a friend and I go out for karaoke, many drinks, and boy ogling. We had tons of fun, drank a lot, she failed to have a random sexcapade in her car then came back and flirted with a gay guy (she disagreed but she was the only one), I sang my ass off... well not literally cause that ghetto thing is still back there... and then we went home around 2. Next day I was telling the girl that works next door (we are in a mall type setting so next door is like 5 feet down the hall) about my awesome night and she stopped me with all seriousness and said "I don't want to offend you, but maybe you should think about going to a class. They are really fun!" Excuse me?!?!?!? I don't think so. The only reason she even knows about them is because her boyfriend/ex-boyfriend/fiance/husband/father of her rumored unborn baby is an alcoholic with a sponsor and everything. I told her she had offended me and I walked off hoping that Barbie would put her wine glass down and smite that bitch...

So I'm an alcoholic because I go out one day a week...

Then yesterday I went to see J after work and we went to dinner (a legit date and all) then went to the bar for a few drinks just to hang out (and because of my new found disease needed to be satiated or some shit like that right?). I was freaking out because I was almost sure that my ex-dickhole would show up. I must have been tuned into my Spidey senses because sure enough he showed up. He talked shit about me all night long, and loud enough that I could hear. He sat to where he could see us all night long like a damn dirty stalker. Some guy finally called him out on it and told him to drop the mean mug (dirty looks for those who don't have an urban dictionary nearby) and he was whining about how "that guy is here with my ex-finace". Really who gives an eff!! He proceeded to get stupid drunk and talking about how bad ass he is and can fight anyone and continuously looking over at J to make sure he heard. Whatev... After we left a mutual friend informed me that he was talking shit on the good ol' drama filled FB...

Really??? First off, I was there with J, who is an ex, not some random dude. Second, who in the hell says ho fosho....  Third, learn how to spell cause honestly we are in our twenties now, you should be able to spell HURTING (but I should expect it from someone who says ho fosho) (and when did hoe become ho? when it got paired with fosho I guess) And lastly, talking about a dick hurting me would imply that J is hung, which just makes dickhole up there look like a short dick man... I don't understand the lil girl part because I am in no way a "lil" anything, and if he is referring to J's daughter, DH has a daughter too so I must be missing something.

Now I'm a "ho fosho"...

I don't understand how childish people can be sometimes. But now that I have vented to everyone (cause you know everyone is reading this shit), I do feel a wee bit better. 

I think if anyone crosses me this weekend, Barbie will put some pink glitter voodoo on a mutha fucka fosho.... I heard dat....

Happy Hump Day: Joe Manganiello

Have a Wunnaful Wednesday!!

Don't break routine!!!

Last night I traveled down to Cottonwood to "bring Ma something from the shop", but of course spent the night with J... Like that was a surprise!

This morning I was running a little late and had to go to Ma's house to get my clothes out of the dryer from last night. I had thrown my bath mats in the wash as well because I figured they could use a washing. Despite the instructions, THEY AREN'T WASHABLE!!! The bottom of both the shower mat and the toilet mat completely disintegrated. EVERYWHERE!!! Since I was running late I couldn't clean it up, so I had to call Ma all flustered and apologize. I did a silent prayer to Barbie hoping that wasn't a sign to my day. Guess she was too busy in the dream house with Ken (bitch) because that just threw off my routine.


Normally in the mornings when I leave Cottonwood, I always stop at Mickey D's to get a coffee before I head out to Prescott. Well this morning for some stupid reason I thought to myself, why don't I just stop in Camp Verde where I get onto the freeway?? Because it's out of routine, that's why!!!!


The drive thru was backed up, the credit card machine was down, and when I pulled up to the window,I find that my "ex fling" (well one of the few) Shitter (Ma's nickname for him) works there!!!! In all the "excitement" this morning, do you think I found time to do my make up or my hair??? Nope, I save all that time and talent for fishing in the dark... I smiled nicely, cursed Barbie, and pulled away as quickly as I could. 


Barbie must have felt bad because she finally stirred and stumbled out of bed and the rest of the day has ran smoothly. Cross your fingers it continues. 

Thank you, come again!!!

Fishing, BBQ, and a skid mark

This last weekend was a much needed break from the depressiony crap I've been up to lately.

Friday I got off work and headed to Cottonwood for some fishing with J (taking off the cowboy part due to the fact that he is only cowboy when he feels like it), his sister and her man. J wasn't getting off work until 6:30 so I had some time to get ready. With plans to go fishing you'd figure I'd throw my hair up and put on some old t-shirt. Not this little (using the term loosely) lady (that one too)!!! I was going to see J, I couldn't look like a scrub!! So I took a shower, put on a cute shirt, my jeans, loaded on the make-up, and even straightened my hair! Looking back on it now, I should have just when for the scrub look considering it was pitch black dark after being there an hour... 

Oh, did I mention I can't fish?? Not one of the many talents (ha!) that I have. J's sister baited my hook and cast my line for me. I warned them before we left that I was only good at the drinking beer part of fishing so they knew what they were getting themselves into. They caught a few catfish and finally, after like 3 hours, I reeled in a bass!!! 

My bass was awesome... I even held it!!! J was the resident fish-taker-offer. He had just taken the cat there off his sisters hook when I reeled mine in so he grabbed it while I took the hook out.... had to snap a picture of him stuck holding both, and his silly hurt finger! 

Nothing to report of Saturday, but Sunday Ma and I had to work the booth for a show we were doing (btw we own our own business). It was super hot sitting in the sun for 7 hours plus pack up. The show was pretty uneventful and I ended up a wee bit sun burned, but the fun all started when we were packing up.

Ma and I both were so drained and hot that we refused to pack up nicely. We threw what we could into the back of the truck and then finally hooked up the trailer and finished the rest. I was packing like a normal person but Ma wasn't having the same luck, she was forgetting where the keys were constantly even though I had them jingling in my hand, she hit her head getting out of the trailer because she forgot to duck, she put a dent in the roof of the trailer right after that already forgetting how low the roof was, and to top it all off, she sat on the tire of the dolly and ended up with a black tire mark on her right butt-cheek. That's where I think we lost it, I mentioned the literal "skid mark" on her ass and we were done for. I'm sure the other vendors probably thought we were crazy, laughing too loud and chucking shit into the trailer letting it land wherever it felt like it. Thankfully, after an hour, we left and the only thing left to deal with is Ma's stress of me driving the trailer... I swear you'd think she was a driving instructor, yelling at me left and right. Brake, get over your too close to the edge, don't get too close to the middle line, BRAKE!!!!!!! You get it...

But, now it's back to work! Had a good few days off, but wish I would have slept more and wore sunscreen. Isn't that what that song was about back in the day?? How was your weekend????

Summer is here!!

Summer has officially started!! I'm super excited but, since I live in Arizona, that means it's going to start warming up!

I currently live in Prescott, Az. It's a nice little town, all historic and such. I just moved up here about a year ago from Cottonwood, Az. That isn't such a nice little town. Seriously, as I'm sure you've never heard of it, take it from me. Born and raised there! It is a tiny, blink if you miss it town, and I strongly suggest that you blink!!

Anywhozer, Prescott doesn't get too entirely hot, but, since I spend most of my non-working hours in Cottonwood, the heat gets pretty rough... It can get to 110 in the summer!!! WTF right!! Phoenix is even hotter than that so thank god I hate the city!!!

Soon I would like to go to the river, but I'm on a self-loathing kick and refuse to get into a bathing suit.... Ugh, why must we women be so self conscience all the time?!?!?!?!

Right now I'm on the I hate men train. Recently ended an engagement and that's possibly when the self-loathing kick started. He was an ass and I know there are two sides to every story, but my side is the only one you get so... it's his fault, he sucks, and eff him! Well, now that I got that out, I started talking to an ex again (I tend to always go back to ex's), J is what we are going to call him. He's a great guy with a southern ghetto accent, and southern charm. I don't object to either... Back to where I was going, wherever that was, we broke up last year due to the bitch best friend he had. She didn't like that he was spending his time and attention on another girl and it eventually led to our demise... BUT she is now out of the picture (he finally came to his senses that the bitch had to go) and now we are talking again. He says he is going to woo me and sweep me off my feet to get me back and keep me. We shall see how that goes! I may be showing cheerleader levels of happiness right now, but I'm still on board the hate men express!!!

Well that's all for now!!!! Too-Ta-Loo!!!