I love it when you call me big Papa!!!

So I just came across a hottie... He kinda seems like he's probably a douche bag too, but nonetheless he's hot.... Wanna see...

Normally I keep the Hotties reserved for Humpday, but, this one took me by surprise..... do you know who that is???? His name is Jeremy....... BIEBER! That't right, good old Justin Bieber's papa. I never thought with him being so young his dad would be too. And he is SMOKIN'!!!! Never was able to say it before, but now I can admit.... I have Bieber Fever!!!!!!

P.S. His car has the Batman symbol... It's meant to be! :)

Beer pong, Batman, and Sunday dinner

Hello friends!! Did you have a good weekend??? Good I'm glad!!

Friday was a pretty boring day, I was off all day, and I did a whole lot of nothing. I'm pretty sure I hung out with the dog, and played Batman all day. Except at three when I had to go pick my mom up from work because her truck was in the shop due to the pack rats that made it their home!!! Shitty... Then after J got home we got ready and ate dinner and went to a friends house (and by friend I mean an Ex's brother and sister-in-law, weird) and played beer pong! Oh how I love that game!! The night concluded with a crying drama fest (some people can't hold their beer) and we went home and passed out.

Saturday I opened the shop then went home and, again, hung out with the dog and played Batman. J came home, I rearranged the pantry, we ate dinner, turned down a party, and went to bed. Geez, I'm getting old.

Sunday I attempted to sleep in, but Dakota sees my days off differently then I do, and woke me up around 730 with his normal bark in my ear, jump on my head, lick my face routine. I decided I should probably do something since I hadn't all weekend, so I went tweaker status on the house. Seriously, dishes, scrubbed the counters and stove, vacuumed, organized the entertainment center and desk, put all the laundry away and organized the stuff on top of the dresser and vanity, made the bed, and straightened the bathroom. I was sweating like a whore in church by the time I was done, but I was damn proud of myself. And I also caught up on my True Blood (if you don't watch it there is seriously something wrong with you) so that made it easier! Plus I'm blessed with a man that notices if I clean, so it was finished off with a compliment! :) Be jealous!!

Sunday night we went over to my parents house for a BBQ. My Daddy's bday was the 25th so it was kind of his party-ish. He wouldn't be there till around 6 so we went a little early to get dinner started. We pull up the drive way and Ma is in the back of the truck, and my nephew is pointing at the ground. AT A F-WORD SNAKE!!!!! 3 foot King snake, and Joe was playing with it like it was a damn puppy! I instantly burst into tears (for some reason I am terrified of snakes) and they let it go. They aren't going to kill it because they are waiting for it to get BIGGER to eat the rats... OMG that shit cray..... Anywhozer, the boys got everything on the BBQ so by the time Daddy got home, we just hung out and relaxed. Besides the stupid reptile, it was a pretty good night!!!

Then I went home and beat Batman. Ha!

How was your weekend??? Do you have a game you just can't put down???

Happy Hump Day: Justin Timberlake

Have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The skinny on the nasty stuff people do

I LOST 6 POUNDS THIS WEEK!!!!!  I know that's really nothing to be jumping up and down about, but it is a start!!! I think Barbie finally put down her cosmo and heard my prayers. Doing the weight watchers isn't really that hard. I still eat what I want just in moderation. Although I'm one of those odd balls that actually love veggies so I guess that's probably why. I don't believe it because I honestly was dreading a weigh in because I figured it didn't feel like I was on a diet so I wasn't going to have the results of a diet, and I did!!! We shall see if it continues into next week, but still even if I just lose one pound... that's one pound less!!!!

Oh, and this week I came across something that rather disturbed me... First I heard the term lemon party. I google imaged it and didn't notice anything out of the ordinary except for one nasty picture. So I went Urban Dictionary and that nasty picture is what it is..... Then Urban Dictionary said well its not as bad as Goatse.... OMG so right!!! Looked that one up then google imaged it... EWW!!! And it's like this thing that everyone knows about and makes funny pictures about it. Why is this ok??? Honestly... Oh and as a warning, if you like me and read about something and have to look it up, and I know you little devils are, I want to point out that little kids shouldn't see, and very NSFW!!!!!! Ugh... gross...

Anywhozer, the short of this week is I'm on my way to skinny sexiness, I have the greatest boyfriend on the planet, my family sucks at being a family (except my Ma, she rocks), and I'm still sick!!!! Yippee to some, Shitty to most.

Now that you've looked up the aforementioned, your welcome :)

XOXO, Ashley

P.S. In trying to get the links for the two nasties I discovered tubgirl.... What the hell is this world coming to???

Strep Throat, Moving, and New Beginnings

I'm sicky :( I wasn't feeling well all week, and now I'm full blown sick. Pretty sure it's strep throat, but I'm too stubborn to go to the doctor to confirm. Ugh...

Friday I worked for a couple hours and then came home and just kicked it. It was a pretty relaxing day. We went to J's moms house for a bit then came back home and watched movies all night. His sister and her boytoy showed up for like 15 mins but then it was just us again!!

Saturday, J came up with me to work and in an hour he had almost my entire apartment all packed up in the truck ready to move to his house!!! SO EXCITING!!! We stopped to get breakfast at good 'ol Mickey D's and my fruit and walnut salad was old.

Even though it was just a day after the date, still you shouldn't serve that shit!!!! After we got home we had my nephew come over and help unload. Later on the boys got on the roof and fixed the swamp cooler cause it was effing hot and it was all clogged up so it wasn't blowing any cool air. This is when the sicky part really kicked in and I spent most the day on the couch.

Sunday I didn't do ANYTHING!!! J helped my nephew move, and then came home and took care of my cry baby ass all day. He made breakfast, lunch, dinner, and unpacked some of my stuff and did some laundry. He is just the greatest man ever, and he is all mine!!!! I told him to stop because I felt bad that I couldn't help any but he just said he was antsy and grounded me to the couch. I guess I can't really complain cause I seriously felt like I was going to die.

J and I... Awe how cute!

Well hopefully I start feeling better soon... If not then I'm going to have to give in and go to the doc... ICK!
Wish you all a great week!!!

Double date, Camping in the rain, and Weight Watchers

HELLO!!!!

I'm so late on my weekend recap, and I apologize dearly cause I know you are just sitting on the edge of your seat wondering what I did over the weekend because my life is so fabulous right??? I thought so.

Told ya...
.

Well anyways, Friday night I set up two of my friends, and J and I joined them on a double date. It's a little odd because he is one of my ex's, but he asked to be set up and she is the only friend I have so why not. They hit it off alright, they have the same taste in music, the same humor, so on and so forth. Dinner, drinks, and a bottle and a six pack back at the house later, she tells me shes not really into it so then after she left I had to explain that they would just be better as friends.... UGH...

Saturday we were going to go camping for J's birthday. Me, him, his daddy, and his brother. His sister and her man were supposed to go, but she had to work, so I was left being the only girl. We went to Kaibab Lake and it was really cool. It had been raining all morning but  it cleared up, we set up, and we were camping!! Oh, did I forget to mention I was the only one who could set up the canopy and tent?? The girl... yeah... whatev... Anyways, it started to pour all afternoon into the night and Pops and brother couldn't handle it because "it's so wet and miserable!". Men... ugh. Could be because they didn't bring tents or sleeping bags because they could just "rough it." Would have looked a whole lot more manly in a tent then shivering crying about the weather, #justsayin. (Yes I just hashtagged... whatcha gonna do about it!) We offered our tent and we would sleep in the truck but that still wasn't good enough so we packed up and headed home. J was pretty upset about it because he had been looking forward to it for a couple weeks and it was for his birthday, but he didn't want to listen to it anymore. I snapped some pics for you guys though!!

The babies so excited to go

The big bad storm

Long ride 

The awesome canopy!

So I didn't have a hat, and my glasses were getting wet spots, so I improvised with a paper plate

SMORES

The Lake

J and I. (how cute)

Sunday was his birthday, so we spent it playing video games in our pjs, couple naughty times, and I baked him a cake :)

On a side note, I realized I'm a total fat ass and need to think of a good diet plan and stick to it, so I joined Weight Watchers. Yay me!

Hope you guys had a great weekend and week!!! I'll be better next week I promise!!!

XOXO, Ashley

Happy Hump Day: Zac Efron

Makes me feel like a total perv, but DAYUM did he grow up good or what??? Happy Wednesday!!!

Extreme Measures

Man yesterday was no fun!! Work was terribly slow, J lost his job, and his ex shaved his daughters head!!!

Lets start with work. Normally it's really not too bad, even when it's slow. Yesterday I honestly felt like I was there for at least 12 hours. It just drug on and on. And then I had some lady come in and ask me in 5 different ways if I had a product and if I was the store that was here before... Each time I replied with no, but evidently that wasn't good enough. She asked how long I have had my shop here and I told her over a year and she says "Oh so your still new." WTF? Since when is OVER a year considered new? 6 months could be maybe, but 15 months? Maybe you should just get out more often. And then she asked me what my product was like and I told her we had testers if she wanted to try something and she stormed out saying I don't want to buy anything from here and then told the lady she was with that she didn't like my attitude. Excuse me? Barbie and I both know I am on the Bitchy side of a pissed off hippo at times, but I'll be the first one to admit it, and this time I really didn't have an attitude so whatev! Eff it!

Then, J calls me to say that he lost his job. They called him in on his day off and when he got there they were already training someone else. They sat him down and told him they were letting him go because of all these things that the kitchen manager said. But, he was in line to take her job from her and she didn't want to be replaced so she went bitching a bunch of crap and now he is jobless. Thankfully he isn't a lazy ass and has already set up a couple interviews and put out resumes. 

If that wasn't enough to bring him down, his sister called to tell him that she found lice in his daughters hair. He of course had to call the mom and she told him that the chemical in the lice-get-rid-of-er burns her head so the only other option is to shave it... so she did!!! She's 4 years old and starts preschool in a couple months, sad. J went to see her after and he started crying and she just said "It's ok Dad, it's just hair. It'll grow back." I would be pissed, and she is still so sweet and doesn't really care! We shall see when it sinks in when she starts going to school. 

On a lighter note, I have the cutest puppy!!!

He fell asleep cuddled with his teddy. So precious!

So I'm not sure what I did to piss Barbie off so bad but honestly debating on buying her a Corvette and maybe some new Kens because I would really appreciate if this shit storm could move away from over my head!!! 

How's your week going so far???

Happy Hump Day: Mark Wahlberg

Don't get your panties in a knot... We're halfway to Friday!!! Happy Hump Day!!

Mucking Fundays

Omg today I for sure had a case of the Mondays...

Since my tire popped I didn't have a car so J offered to take me to work.

* Side note... did I mention we are officially official?? I don't think I did. And we are moving right along and I'm moving in slowly... quick I know but he was my boyfriend before the last one and we just kind of picked up where we left off. *

Anywhozer, we left nice and early, got some coffee any headed out. We get about halfway to Prescott and BOOM, his effing tire pops!!!!! Omg!!! So we get pulled over safely and call everyone we know... I had 45 minutes to get to work and the person he could get to come wouldn't be there for at least an hour so I called a couple friends and one finally pulled through and came and took me to work. Can you believe no one stopped to help? The SECOND cop stopped for a minute to tell him he had an hour to get the car off the road... you know SERVING and PROTECTING... And a nice old lady stopped right before he got picked up and offered him some water and advice on where to go. I was only twenty minutes late to work so that was good I suppose.

Later, my parents went to pick up my car, but it wasn't done so they finished it really quick and messed up something with the air in it and had to re do it THEN it was finally done!!!!

The night finished off nicely though!!! Laundry and then he made an amazing dinner!!!

                       

BBQ chicken and corn with bacon ranch pasta salad... mmm!!!! :)

Called it a night cuddled up watching Dirty Love. Have you ever seen that one?? If you have an dirty and odd sense of humor, I strongly suggest it!!!!

XOXO Ashley

P.S. Got the blog app for my phone... YAY ME :)

Birthday, flat tire, and a killer headache.

This weekend was a doozy (yeah that's how were spelling it)!

Friday was ok. There wasn't a whole lot that went on. I went to work in the morning for only a couple hours, stopped by my apartment and did a little cleaning, then started to head on back to Cottonwood. I stopped at Maveric on my way out of town to get mom some jumbo "SmartTarts" (sweet tarts, smarties) for her birthday. I left there and not 2 minutes later my tire pressure light came on which is odd because I just got new tires so there shouldn't be a problem. I pulled over to find that I had a flat tire. I was in the middle of no where in 100 degree weather in a church parking lot changing a tire. Thankfully I know how to do so, but it sucked. It was so friggin hot!! But I did it like a champ and now have to wait for the new tire to come in. Then after J got off work we had to rush to the hospital because his EX called to say that his daughter had gotten a bad cut. It wasn't too bad, they threw some glue on it and we were done. Fastest hospital experience ever!! And she asked me for a hug and shared her jello with me... YAY ME!

Saturday was Ma's birthday. The big "22"!! Went went to Lenny's and just had some broccoli and cheddar soup. Our waitress was something else... She had only the front four teeth on the top, and the bottom were black and rotting gross, she has this crazy serial killer softness to her voice and she was just plain odd. So we left after our soup and went to DQ for a blizzard. All was well there until some guy sat next to us and kept snorting his snot into his throat. ICK!!!! We called it a day after that and I went home to get ready to go to a friends for the UFC fight.

Saturday night was WILD!!!! Everyone was drunk and acting stupid and all the guys were pumped up from the fight. Some drama started and it all snowballed from there. Boys acting like boys, people taking off, and men talking to women in a way that they shouldn't. I had warned J that it gets a little crazy but never anything like that!!! After we left, we stopped at good ol' Mickey Ds for some grub and headed home.

Puppy was zonked. Played with his brothers all night, plus trying to weave around all the people and drama.

J being a great DD :)

Sunday I was so incredibly hungover all day I did nothing but sleep, NOTHING else. J had to work all day so it was just me and Mr. Dakota on the couch watching American Dad and eating ramen. Even by the time he got home I was still as half dead as I was when he left in the morning. I tell ya, dealing with drama with alcohol in your system does not do the body good!!! So just sleep, munch, drink gatorade, and sleep. 

How was your weekend???

Happy Hump Day: Magic Mike

God Bless America!!!!!!!!!

Have a  happy fouth!!

Um......

Just wanted to say hello.... oh and show you this...

I know right?!?! No need to thank me :)

XOXO Ashley

The number 13, dead guys, and a puppy

This weekend had its ups and downs. Overall it was a good weekend, but Saturday morning and afternoon threw a wrench into the "awesome holiday weekend" idea. And btw, how do you know if the weekend before or the weekend after is the holiday weekend when the holiday is in the middle of the week?? Being an alcoholic ho fosho, I will just go with both.

Anywhozer, Friday went well. Me, Ma, and three of her friends went and saw that movie Magic Mike. The men were yum, the abs were DELICIOUS, and the dancing was ok... We all know that Channing Tatum is an awesome dancer so of course he was amazing, but everyone else wasn't quite up to par. *Spoiler Alert* the acting was TERRIBLE!!!!!!!!!! I cant believe that the main actress was even chosen. And the story line was kind of so/so. My least favorite thing was the fact that my man (Joe Manganiello) (Big Dick Richie) didn't have that big of a part, but was big in other ways.. hehe Then after, we (J and I, yeah we are a "we" now, but still holding out on the officialness of the relationship) just stayed home... I mean at his house, and just relaxed. Nothing too much to report of Friday, thank Barbie!

Saturday was hell... just plain hell. Lets start with how the day was supposed to go.

We had a show in Dewey for the business so we were due to leave around five, run to Wally World to get ice, grab some breakfast at Mickey Ds, and the peacefully head over the mountain.

Here's how it really went... We left 20 mins late, forgot the ice, got the number 13 at Mickey Ds where it took them like 20 mins to make two sandwiches and two coffees (really its not even like its gourmet, slap that shit together and throw it in a bag), then when we finally take off, we get to the top of the mountain to find a car flipped over in the median and a white sheet covering all but the dead guys legs.... WTF!!!!!!! I told Ma right then and there today is terrible lets head home. We get almost to Dewey and I see a dog ripping a dead animal to shreds... like Kujoing that shit. *body shiver* yuck!!! The day continued with little things here and there and didn't stop until around seven when J and I went to his Pops house out on the ranch and had a BBQ. I love it out there... makes me feel all country hick and such. Btw, his Pops loves me so + for me :)

I'm thinking I'm not the only one who was having a bad day because a lady at the show hit an electrical box and knocked another one while fleeing from the first....

Oh did I mention that they were covered by these obnoxiously orange buckets?? How did you hit two?? I maneuvered the truck AND a trailer through them just last week and she hit two in a mini suv/cross over. Some peoples children I say.

BUT...... Sunday we got a PUPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG right?!?! He is Queensland and Sheppard and we are pretty sure the dad was a rot. Either way he is amazing! Wanna see?? I know you do!!

After going through like 15 names, I'm pretty sure we have settled on Dakota. I love him so much already!! He is doing so well at being potty trained (no accidents yet and walks around whining when he needs to go out) and he is so mellow and relaxed. He found that stuffy and played with it for a while then cuddled up to it and took a nap! Hopefully he stays as good as he is now!

Now it's Monday, hopefully it will be a better week than my day on Saturday. 

How was your weekend??

XOXO Ashley